I put that in the title to let everyone know how embarrassed I am at my progress for the day. I've always worked well against negative reinforcement. It sort of drives me to work harder. I have always found it strange how it has the opposite effect on most people. I seem to work well with positive reinforcement also, so I guess it has less to do with the outside effects and more to do with what's going on in my own head.
In my own defense, Moose called me today and we talked for a couple of hours. His call interrupted my work at the 376 word mark and I never got back to it. Since he bought his precious iPhone and as a result was forced to switch to AT&T, we have the same cell carrier making it free for us to call each other. It seems the two or three days when I'm between volumes I call him and use him as a sounding board for ideas and for the in between two or three weeks when I'm writing these ideas, he's the one calling me out of boredom.
Once I decided I'd be lazy and not do too much work today, I felt I had to do something useful to make up for it. I did a couple loads of laundry and vacuumed the apartment. I also did my duty and ordered myself a Family Special #11, which apparently has changed in the six weeks it's been since I ordered one. It no longer comes with three XL pizzas with two toppings and a two liter of soda, it's just two XL pizzas with two toppings (and no soda!). I guess it's for the best. I don't need to be eating pizza every other meal for a week.
But come on! Who doesn't want to live like that?
Alright. I admit it. I'm just a Frat boy who doesn't like to party with anyone else 99% of the time. And thus, the pizza ended my one month and one day binge vegetarianism. I had wondered if going so long without meat would have any adverse reactions to my stomach and indeed it did. It was so yummy and delicious I just had to cram one extra slice into it than I normally do.
Anyway, getting back to beating myself up for not writing enough. If I had had another good day, I could have hit my 5000 word goal in three days. Now, I guess, I'll have to make do with four days.
I really think I have finally hit a "writing groove". Admittedly I have a day like today now and again where I decide to let myself get distracted, but I think I have really fallen into a certain mode for writing. I feel I have been much more serious about it the past five weeks and it has shown.
Last year, I read some advice from a writer I had never heard of, but the advice was sound. To paraphrase he said something along the lines of, If you're going to be a writer. Just write. Don't make excuses for why you're not writing. Just write. Everyday you write, because that's you're job.
I feel like that has how things have been for a while now. I just get up and write because it's my job. Too bad there's no money in it. At least, not when you're doing the actual writing, and well, for 98% of the people who do finish writing something, there's still no money in it. Go figure.
Oddly, the work is it's own reward. I honestly don't care if I make money doing this. It'd be nice so I could write as long as want, but I just don't care. I am simply enjoying the moment of just telling this story. I'm sure I'll look back on this time as an incredible experience, though I understand most could not lead such a solitary life. I really do spend days at a time ignoring the outside world only to realize, "Oh, it's Thursday. Guess I'll check the mail since I haven't yet this week."
As a result, I have been putting off preparing for the inevitable job hunt. I think I know once I start that process, I'll be less focused on my writing. Heaven forbid I actually get a job. I have no idea how that will ruin my progress. It's depressing to think about. I'll stop.