Wednesday, December 17, 2008

And So it Goes...

'Tis my last night in Vegas.

It was fun...

Time to begin something else.

EDIT: New blog located at

Friday, October 31, 2008

The All Dayer

I used to enjoy pulling the occasional all nighter in undergrad. Every once in a while I'd stay up all night working on a school project and I'd take a 2 liter of Mountain Dew and make a party of it. Kind of like how the first half of my summer went. (I'd say all summer, but there was that 5 week stretch where I ate vegetarian and was probably reasonably healthy.)

I always managed to accomplish so much on those nights, it's hard to not look on them with a bit of nostalgia. When I managed to make it into grad school, the pace of things was different. It was rare for me to have to work over night on anything. In most cases it was counter productive. I had to think so deeply about things, an over tired brain was useless in attacking the math. Unlike the undergrad projects I used to tackle, say making my own version of minesweeper in C++ for a programming class. That work required little thought on my part. It seemed many of my classmates disagreed with me, but what did they know?

Yesterday, I stayed up all day in an effort to switch my schedule around from a night cycle to a day cycle. After living goalless for the month of October and having pretty much nothing to show for it, I decided it was time to set some goals for November and get some shit done. So today, Happy Halloween by the way, I plan to cement my daytime schedule by making sure I don't cheat and take any naps.

I'm not sure I'll get anything useful done today, but if it results in a list things to do for November, then it'll have been a day well spent. At the very least, I can get a few errands done today, like pay the rent and go to the bank and such. Now that I have a stuffed cupboard, I have no excuses to not being productive at least over the next couple of weeks.

I'll probably post again later in the day with my November goals.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Traveling Circus in Planning

I'll start with the fact that the NBA season started tonight. Even though I will be in Vegas for a while yet, I don't expect to be making any bets for now. I may place a few when Walt comes out in mid November, but I'm not going to focus on it as of now. I'm not a big fan of betting on the first few weeks of a season anyway. I like to see how the teams settle down.

Also, I did go for a walk last night for a bit more than an hour. I haven't gone for one yet tonight, but I think I will just before the sun comes up in the morning. I may go to the grocery store and pick up some stuff even though I'm not completely out of food. Imagine that, going to the store not because I'm hungry and have completely run out of food, but to supplement the food I already have. Pretty cool.

That being said, on to the purpose for this post. I have slowly made arrangements for my lifestyle change from the Urban Hermit to the Traveling Circus. I have pretty much decided at this point that I'll be leaving Vegas around Christmas time. I'll be sending my stuff back east where I'll have to put it in storage and then I'll actually have to live out of my suitcase for a couple of months.

First up, I'll be stopping in Penn Yan for the family Xmas festivities for 4-5 days.

Second, I'll head out to Albany for News Year's pomp and circumstance. Somewhere in there I'll have to contend with putting my junk in storage. At the moment, renting a mini storage unit in Penn Yan may be looking like my best bet.

Third, on January 3rd, I'll be heading to Virginia with Moose and his wife where I'll stay with him for a couple of days until the joint meetings take place from the 5th to the 8th in Washington D.C..

Fourth, will be the joint meetings. I won't walk out of there with a job, but with any luck, I'll have inspired a handful of them to offer me on campus interviews. These interviews would probably start in early February, but possibly in late January. So if colleges do want to take a second look at me, I might have to throw in a side trip or two while I'm taking my show on the road.

Fifth, I'll go to Scott's place for a few days to a week (He also lives in VA, near D.C.). He's being reassigned to New Orleans so I may have to help him pack or whatever. There is even a possibility that he'll be gone and I may have to skip this leg of the journey. That's up to Exxon-Mobil.

Sixth, I'll go back to Moose's and hang out with him more proper like for a week or two. Who knows how long. The odds are, assuming I get a job, said job won't start until August, so I'll have plenty of time to kill.

Seventh, I finally had the opportunity to talk with John tonight, and he said I could stop by for a visit near the end of January. Finally, I'll get to see his little boy (who just turned one last week). At the moment, he is out in California for a few days for work and he didn't have long to talk, so I don't know how long I'll be able to mooch off him. I would suspect his wife couldn't put up with me invading their home for more than a week. We'll see. I don't want to wear out my welcome at any of these places.

By then, I suspect it'll be close to the end of January, maybe even the beginning of February if my friends can put up with me that long. I'm not sure yet if there will be an eighth leg to the trip, as that just about wraps up all my friends (geographically speaking, of course, not numerically speaking). It's possible that the eighth leg might land me in Pennsylvania for some reason, but I'll believe that when I see it.

This will be the longest I will have gone in my lifetime living like a vagabond. In some ways I'm looking forward to seeing all my friends, but by the same token, it will be quite exhausting as well. My stuff will be locked away and we all know how I feel about being away from my stuff. Perhaps it is time to start mentally preparing myself to do without it.

Sunday, October 26, 2008


I have been sleeping for days...

At first, I thought it was a byproduct of skipping the caffeine. I always have 2-3 days of loginess when I decide I've had enough caffeine, but that was five days ago. I've been sleeping as though I were deeply sick, but aside from being sleepy and a bit stiff from so much sleep I feel fine.

The past five days, I haven't been able to stay awake for more than 6-8 hours at a time before I need a nap, but those are the long sessions. It has been more typical for me to need a nap after 3-4 hours.

I'm not sure what's going on, but one thing is for sure. I need to get out and walk a bit more. The weather has been absolutely phenomenal so I no longer have any excuse (aside from my lust for laziness). I can only assume that a little more exercise would help my narcolepsy.

I also think I need to blog a bit more. I no longer feel accountable for my laziness. If I start blogging more than twice a week, I think I'll be able to guilt myself into being more active. Maybe not.

As for the job search. It has been quite annoying as it has become much more clear that for every job, I'll have to do a different tap dance routine. They all want essentially the same stuff, but it can range from having everything submitted electronically to nothing being submitted electronically. Other places want their own applications used, some of which are available online, others I actually have to mail in for it. Can you believe that? These places are advertising jobs online, but only make their applications available through snail mail. It's absurd. The variety of different hoops one needs to satisfy to apply for each job is crazy. I suspect once I start filling out these applications I'll be able to fill out one a day. Hopefully more...

I did find a site that had a number of overseas jobs. Even one literally over the sea as a teacher on an aircraft carrier for the U.S. military. Intriguing, but I doubt I'd pass the physical at this point. I think the job in Saudi Arabia is still my best bet for an overseas job.

I have also started a third draft of Part One. It's odd, but I have grown so accustomed to reading off my computer, I can't seem to read the chapters I printed off effectively as an editing tool. I seem to be better at editing the file on the computer as opposed to a hard copy. I guess that will save me quite a bit of printer ink in the long run.

I think it might be time for a nap.

No! I'll slap on my headphones and go for a walk instead.

See, blogging is better for me already.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I feel as though I have been in a rut since I have come back to Las Vegas. Actually, the whole week before while I was in Albany felt similarly rut-like. And before anyone back in Albany thinks I am implying anything about them, this really is all me.

I often feel as though my life is jumping from rut to rut. Some of them are good or at least productive, like the rut I was in all summer where I didn't seem to do anything but write a whole lot. Every once in a while I'll ride a rut out to the end before skipping to a new one and I flounder looking for the next thing I'll focus on. Once I finished my thesis work was probably the worst rut I've ever had to get myself out of.

That's how I feel now. I feel as though I am in the most traditional type of rut. One where I am incapable of focusing on anything productive. I have tried to look through the math job listings a number of times. A few days ago, I did tough it out for about 6 hours and made a list of jobs to look into more closely. A good start, but it's really only just a start.

Interestingly enough, one of the top candidates is a job at Prince Mohammad Bin Fahd University located in Saudi Arabia. Tell me my subconscious is not running from something or looking for more.

I wonder which one it is?

Probably the former. This country has grown to disgust me a great deal the past 7-8 years. Perhaps while I am there, the Muslim extremists can brain wash me into being a suicide bomber against the U.S.. Oh wait, I don't believe in their religion any more than I do Christianity. Guess that rut's out. I suspect that is for the best. I still have a long way to go before I finish writing my story.

But then again, the job in Saudi Arabia is a good opportunity, so maybe that's why it piqued my interest. The listing is here in case anyone wants to see what it offers. Truth be told, I am surprised there aren't more oversees jobs listed. I only saw two and the other one was for another job in the middle east in Qatar. It doesn't matter though. Most foreign jobs would be looking for me to do more research than I am interested in pursuing so I am not seriously looking at a lot of jobs oversees.

Back to my rut...

It occurs to me that I haven't accomplished much of anything in about 5 weeks since I did very little before I left Vegas at the end of September. I haven't even done any writing and I need to get another couple of rewrites in before I apply for the Writer's in Residence grant. (A December 1st deadline.)

The grant is an interesting conundrum. Suppose by some miracle I did win the honor in addition to getting a good job offer? Which do I choose? The beginning of my teaching career, or another year (or more) of leading this atypically ridiculous minimalistic lifestyle? Worse yet, I'd have to start looking for yet another job, while I'm supposed to be blissfully writing away as the writer in residence. I suppose I am fortunate in that I won't likely have to make that choice, but it does make for an interesting dilemma.

I guess it is time I suck it up and stop being such a pathetically lazy American...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The False Dichotomy

So my last post wasn't really about dichotomy. It was about mathematicians and the choices that crop up because they have artificially chosen to exclude the middle ground in their thinking. Despite what people may think, math is only a small part of logic; a mere subset.

In formal logic, there is a logical fallacy known as the False Dichotomy. People often try to assert in their thinking that once a dilemma has appeared then it can be solved with either A or B. It was caused by option one or option two. Things can occasionally be pigeon holed with either-or's, especially in math, but real life is not simple.

When does a person become bald? Do you have to pull out one hair? Ten? Ten thousand?

Of course, the problem lies in different people's interpretations of the word bald. It's not a precise concept. Very little in our day to day lives is a precise concept, yet we run our lives as though most everything is

black versus white,
good versus evil,
republicans versus democrat,
or even alive versus not alive. (Something that should be as dichotomous as it gets!)

As I said before, it makes things simple and tidy, but in reality, it serves only to complicate things further.

Life is a continuum. Everything is a shade of gray. If people want to consider themselves as being a member of a sophisticated species, they really need to learn to accept this. Actually, we all need to learn to accept this.

Because mathematicians have bifurcated their logic, some incredibly sophisticated issues have crept into the foundations of mathematics forcing them to be careful about the way they work their own special brand of magic. The same thing is happening to people every day, only their world isn't even based on an excluded middle.

Take the discussion Charles and I had about the financial crisis. The end of that didn't get blogged about here, but in short, my premise was that it was primarily caused from deregulation. I have since learned that some of it was also due to new securities that were completely unregulated (a not too distant issue). In an effort to simplify the view, I lumped in a whole lot. Deregulation and lack of regulations which covers a whole lot of bipartisan territory. The video Charles offered into evidence tried to make the issue a republican versus democrat issue. The video cherry picked information from the late 70's, somehow managed to skip all of the 80's and early 90's, exploded with more cherry pickings in the mid to late 90's, and cleverly tied it all together to make it look like Obama was Satan's little nephew by marriage.


Can people seriously believe that the current financial crisis is solely due to democrats? Or even republicans for that matter. Are people that limited in their world view? (I'm not meaning to pick on Charles here. I'm directing that to the fool that made the video. The premise of which was that the predatory lending was regulated. An assertion for which he appears to present a great deal of data, but he never actually links it together properly to be able to draw said conclusion.)

Is it really so hard to believe that the crisis is due to unchecked greed that we have to blame one side of the political aisle to make ourselves feel better? Do people really need things to be so black and white for their lives to go on?

Of course, the False Dichotomy doesn't appear in just the economic/political realm. Take your pick on any issue and you'll find it. Rather than trying to embrace some sort of middle ground, where most of us lie, extremists force the issues to remain black and white, thus keeping the issue alive.

I understand some issues will never die. Some issues are so evenly distributed, they will always be issues. Kim and I have talked at length about abortion and this is one of those issues. I challenge anyone to find accurate statistics on the U.S. population's opinion on this issue. Most polls have percentages of pro-lifers in the mid to upper 40's and pro-choicers in the low to mid 40's with the rest in the "pro-choice but we need more restrictions category". (Though I am fundamentally a pro-lifer, I have thought quite a bit on the issue in terms of what I am willing to accept. I have drawn my lines in the sand, as arbitrary as they are, and I guess this puts me in the third category.)

I have seen other polls broken down into more restrictive categories and this really only serves to makes things more confusing. If you check out polls with five or more categories, you really begin to see that this issue is a weighted normal curve. (Weighted a bit heavier on the pro-life end where there are a higher percentage of people who oppose abortion under all circumstances versus a small percentage that want abortions under all circumstances. This makes sense because the gray in this issue comes from under what circumstances should we allow abortion.)

The middle ground on this issue is far too complex and unlike the former issue which is all about money, this one is about life and death. When push comes to shove, at the end of the day, I am sure we'll all be able to agree that the greedy people on Wallstreet, regardless of their political affiliation, need to be reigned in.

Who needs to be reigned in on an issue regarding life and death? The death bringers? If that is always the case we need to reign in the republicans who keep pushing for these middle eastern wars. When Kim and I were watching the VP debate Palin made a comment about how we need to win these wars. As opposed to what? The unspoken dichotomy of losing these wars? How about we don't start these wars? Wait, was this war a republican versus democrat issue?

Thursday, October 16, 2008



Either - or

What a wonderfully simplifying and comforting concept it is that things can be bifurcated into black and white, on and off, true or false. Mathematics relies on it. The logic of mathematics requires an object to either be a point or not a point, a line or not a line, a prime number or not a prime number, a glob or not a glob. But even in mathematics, which relies on the Law of the Excluded Middle, things are not always so easy. Without getting into a serious lesson on the foundations of mathematics, there do exist propositions in the context of mathematics which can be shown to have no determinable truth value. In short, math itself as it is currently constructed is not strong enough to ascertain whether or not these propositions are true or false.

How do mathematicians handle this problem? There are a number of ways.

First, we can have everyone pick a side. That's right. Because the proposition cannot be determined within math itself, we are free to accept the statement as true and go on our merry way under that assumption, or we accept it as false and go on our merry way. In doing this, we are accepting the statement (or it's negation) as a new axiom. This has actually happened. The axiom of choice was eventually accepted, not because it's so intuitive (a trait that mathematicians like their axioms to have) but because it was convenient. There was much opposition to the axiom at first, but after a few generations most of it has died because we would lose a whole bunch of cool mathematics without it.

Second, we can ignore it unless we have to pay attention. A methodology not unlike having sex while small domesticated animals are watching. Sure you can take care of business, but every once in a while they might decide you're being playful and want to get in on the fun. This is how mathematicians treat the Continuum Hypothesis. Most mathematicians ignore it as it hardly ever crops up. Others accept it as true, again, out of convenience because it makes infinite sets behave nicely, but others feel there is little reason to accept infinite sets are so well behaved when finite ones don't behave so nicely.

In the end, this option means that number theory isn't really what people think it's cracked up to be. Cracked is an appropriate word because there isn't just one supreme math universe that mathematicians work in, there are many. There is a model to mathematics which accepts the Continuum Hypothesis and another model that does not. Honestly, there are models which do not accept the choice axiom, but they're a barren wasteland in terms of modern research. Physics does the same thing in that it has multiple models that can be used to describe the universe. Most physicists work in what is called the "standard model", just as most mathematicians work within the standard framework of accepted mathematics, but the splinter groups do exist.

Despite this entry being entitled Dichotomy, there is a third option for mathematicians in dealing with a proposition that cannot be determined within the context of mathematics. We can rewrite all of mathematics using different axioms altogether. Axioms that allow us to make a conclusion on these previously undetermined propositions.

Admittedly, this is cumbersome. We've done so well in creating mathematics up until now do we really need to start over? Of course not. One would only need to use their new set of axioms to create the foundations of our previously known knowledge and everything will follow after that. So in the end, it's not really that much work to rewrite all of mathematics.

I guess I'll have to finish this discussion tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Safe and Sound, Except...

I managed to get back to my lovely Las Vegas home last night around 4pm. As nice as it was to be back in NY for a couple of weeks and it seemed like I had never left, once back amongst my stuff, it was like I had never had Las Vegas.

Except, I didn't recall leaving the funky smell. I swear I didn't fart on the way out, shutting the door behind me when I left two weeks ago. I came home to find that at some point while I was gone the bathroom sink overflowed onto the carpet. The smell of my upstairs neighbor's shower water wasn't terrible or overpowering, but unenjoyable nonetheless.

It was too late last night to get maintenance on the matter, so I aired out the apartment. The current temps in Vegas are the same as NY, mid 60's. Very cool and refreshing. It's supposed to get back into the 80's next week, but for now, I'll take the fresh crisp air that is replacing the stagnant water smell.

My next surprise involved my computer. My 500GB SATA hard drive doesn't appear to be working. This is really obnoxious as I had about 450MB of data on the drive. Nearly all of it is replaceable, but there is one folder that has no back up and is loaded with a bunch of personal letters and such that I keep. Like the documents that hold all of my blog entries. Again, at particular data is still available to me online, but if I want a convenient record of it again, I'll have to go through the entire blog page by page and copy it all over again. Naturally, there are plenty of other files that are not so easily replaced. I haven't looked at it yet to see if it is fried completely or if something else is wrong, but I am not enjoying the prospect of sending the hard drive out to be salvaged, but I may want to do just that enventually.

I should point out that none of my writing data was compromised and the hard drive that contains the partition where windows is installed remains fully functional, so my computer is otherwise fine. I simply cannot access the storage drive where I hold all the mass data that I store.

This morning, I went to the rental office to file my complaint about the overflowing sink. A maintenance guy just happened to be passing through the lobby as I was discussing the problem with one of the secretaries. Ten minutes later he was pumping out crud from the pipes. I pointed out the crack in my shower head. I cover it with a wash cloth as I shower or else water shoots over the curtain and onto the floor and he replaced that right away as well. Thus all is right with my apartment once again and before 10:30am no less. Too bad my computer hard drive won't be so easy to deal with.

After the maintenance guy left, I sent in my registration for the joint meetings in January. I was amazed that there was a separate registration category for unemployed mathematicians. The fee was $43 as opposed to the standard members fee of $216 (nonmembers are $335). Leave it to mathematicians to actually set up a fee schedule that makes sense.

Today's next most important duty involves grocery shopping. After that, I guess I better get back to work on the job stuff.

Friday, October 10, 2008


I've been tired the last few days. Unfortunately, it has kept my motivation low. So yes, this means my job hunt has suffered, but at least I can report that I have finally gotten all of my references on board. When I get back to Vegas next week, I guess I'll have to put things into hyper mode. I feel as though I have let myself be too lazy for too long and need to get my butt in gear.

Because of my tiredness, I decided to check out It is one of many sites that allows any good hypochondriac the opportunity to determine what ails them. After an extensive search I think I can safely assume that I have OLU. I hadn't heard of it before, but then these names are always latin based, so no one knows what they mean. If I remember correctly, it's spelled Oldi Lazius Uckfay.

It seems to be pretty common in people approaching middle age with sedentary lives. It can also appear in people who are slightly more active, but they tend to be passing middle age. In fact, the likelihood of getting this disease is directly proportional to a person's age. As yet, there does not seem to be any serious correlation as a hereditary disease, but I don't think enough studies have been done. My own personal opinion is that it can be nurtured as much as it appears naturally, but opinions are not very scientific.

Stimulants have been shown to be effective in battling this fatigue-like disease on a day to day basis, but they tend to be addictive and the body quickly becomes adjusted to the affects. In fact, it is not uncommon for the stimulants to keep the person from sleeping regularly only to add more fatigue later. Not surprisingly, regular exercise and healthy eating habits seem to be the best way to combat this disease. Under such a regimen, OLU will slowly fade away in the same way that pneumonia will fade away under proper treatment.

I would like to think that if this disease takes me at too young of an age, a rare happenstance, but a possibility nonetheless, my friends and family will start a foundation in my honor to combat this dreadful affliction. They'll have to. I'm too poor and diseased to take on such a task myself.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Rotting Off My Back

It's been a tough year.

Specifically, it's been a tough year on my wardrobe. I don't buy clothes that often and it seems this year a lot of my older more reliable clothing is wearing out. I did manage a sizable purge of clothing prior to moving out to Vegas, but since a lot of my shorts are 5-6 years old and I wear them daily, the warn spots have slowly become tears. My pajama pants are mostly 2-3 years old. They really aren't made for daily use and they are similarly wearing out. Of course, I buy cheap and I get what I pay for. I guess I should be surprised that I can get them to last so many years.

I do have a ton of t-shirts. My friends tend to buy them if only because they know I'll wear them. Oddly enough, or actually not so oddly, they also last longer than my shorts. I have quite a few shirts over 7 years old and a number that are close to 10 years old. I'll let the readers perform their own gedanken experiments to explain why the shirts last so much longer than the shorts.

I have bought socks and underwear during the last year, so I'm fortunate enough to have warm feet and plenty of protection for the next generation of Browns that will probably only come from my loins via sperm donation. But then, underwear is counterproductive when it comes to procreation.

Actually, my clothes aren't the only thing that is old and ought to be updated. My computer is approaching 5 years of age (in January). Of course, it still does everything I ask of it so I have no need to update just yet. I also, have two other computers to utilize: the workhorse computer and the laptop I am using right now. Can a person really claim to be "roughing it" when they own three computers?

Hmm, I guess it's getting busy 'round here. I'll wrap this up.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Time's a Wastin'

Kim talked me into staying in Albany for another week. I was supposed to take a flight back to Vegas early this afternoon, but we moved it to next Monday. I haven't really accomplished anything since I got here. I figured it was the benefit of being on vacation, but I really do need to start my job hunt a bit more in earnest. The only mitigating factor that gums up the works is my resume is still on my computer back home. (Kim doesn't like it when I call Vegas home, but as they say, home is where the stuff is.)

Staying is a mixed blessing. I was really enjoying seeing my friends again, but I really do need to get back to my "work". I can't say as I miss my stuff just yet, but I am sure it will become more pressing as the week goes on. Because I decided to stay, I did insist upon myself that I get some work done, even if it is just sorting through job listings. Of course, I will try to get in a few blog posts during this week, if for no other reason than to see if any of my friends notice that I am blogging about them while I'm right under their nose.

Speaking of wasting time, last night I went out with Kim, Amanda, and Matt to get my first pedicure. It was pleasantly relaxing. It wasn't too difficult to convince Matt into getting his toenails done. I had already known that I would. I figured if such things were already included in the price then you may as well take full advantage of the experience.

I had my toes painted a pleasant neon green. Very gay if I do say so myself. At least now I can die knowing what it's like to have my toenails painted. If I were to do that again, it'd have to be black, though I doubt I'll do it again. My slacker days are a thing of the past. I'm getting too old for that sort of thing. Besides, black nails is more of a goth/emo look these days and I am certainly not either of those. I'll stick with the facial piercings even though I'm past those days as well.

I've managed to maintain my west coast timing. I seem to be getting up most days around 11am to noon, i.e. between 8-9am Pacific. I didn't really want to be sleeping that late while here, but since there is little reason to get up earlier, my body and soul hasn't seemed overly eager to "improve" on the matter.

The Knickerbocker Luau was one of the main focuses for my return trip, so I suppose I should say a few words about that affair. As with any catered event at the building, the food was overly plentiful and delicious. Why the friends I have outside the building always seem to blow them off when I invite them is beyond me. This time, the event had a bit smaller crowd than usual and there was no karaoke. Nevertheless, I had a great time meeting up with all the people I haven't managed to keep in touch with. In particular, my friend Sharon showed up out of the blue. I hadn't seen her in a couple of years, so that was a nice treat. It's a shame I will probably never see her again. She's moving to Utica. That is the way life goes. We don't all manage to travel in the same direction.

My actual birthday dinner took place the first full day after my arrival. It was very understated and nice with just Kim and Charles accompanying me to Delmonico's, a local steak house. They very rarely offer up a bad meal, their chairs on the other hand.... (An inside joke, sorry to those not in the know.)

As I said, it was a very relaxing week, but it is time to get a little bit done. Let's see how unlazy I can be for a change.

Saturday, September 27, 2008


I had a bit of an adventure yesterday. I occasionally post to a writer's message board called Absolute Write. Mostly, I just post to cheer people on in their efforts to get their own writing done as they cheer me on to as I do my own work. On there, one of the other regulars mentioned that she and her husband were coming to Vegas on account of her husband attending a work related function. We exchanged a couple personal messages on the board and set up a lunch meeting which we had at the South Point Hotel. I had never been to this casino as it is about 4 miles off the southern end of the strip.

She obviously saw how pathetic I am at first glance and insisted on paying for lunch. Why is it none of my friends ever let me buy? Even strangers I've never met can see it. I didn't even tell her my birthday was impending. Surely, the word "loser" is tattooed on my forehead in ink invisible to my own eyes. Fortunately, some of my guilt was abated due to the fact that the buffet at South Point is quite cheap. I was really impressed with it's quality for less than $10.

Anyway, we discussed our writing projects and other various forms of small talk. Mostly, I am impressed she can accomplish so much while taking care of two young children. I have grown too old and lazy to even contemplate having to deal with children while writing. So good one for her!

It is actually the second time I met with an online acquaintance. A few years ago, when I was in Ireland, I made a quick detour to Scotland to visit a friend that I had done a few online projects with. I got to meet his whole family and even stayed with them for a couple of days. It was a great experience. Both events reaffirm my belief that 99% of the people out there are really kind and generous when they can be.

There was a small downside to the day. Having to use the public transportation was crazy! The buses were not difficult to navigate, but I was traveling under 9 miles. I still had to walk about a mile of that and (including the walk time) it took me over 2 hours to get to the South Point Hotel. Coming back was just under 3 hours and again, I had to walk about a half mile. Paradise road, my road, is a major road, but I couldn't find any routes on it that took me where I needed to go. The result was a lunch that had about 2 hours and 15 minutes of face time taking 7 hours for the round trip. I'm glad the public transportation is not so bad in Albany.

I did get plenty of time to listen to another audio book, Stephen King's, "Cell". Many of his stories are usually simple homages to the 1950's scientific ignorance horrors and this book is no exception. But even though his stories are simple, he does have a knack for creating very well crafted and easily identifiable characters. And readers will forgive a lot of things if the characters are well done. I'm kind of hoping that this is what will sell my story since the over arcing plot moves so slowly due to the political structure that I've built up. We'll see.

Anyway, yesterday was a good day. I was able to meet an interesting person, listen to Stephen King build up some good characters for my own personal critique, and I was able to determine that I can still deal with humans face to face.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My Horoscope

**I figured for kicks, I would critique my own horoscope. I'll let you decide if it is right about me, or if I am right about me, or are we both wrong? My comments are in italics and prefaced with the double asterisks.

Balance is the keyword for this sign, and when it comes to keeping everything on an even keel, a Libra will lead the pack. Peace loving and judicial, this sign abhors being alone. Partnerships are very important for the Libra, especially those on a personal level. With their winning personalities and cooperative style, they aren't apt to be alone for long!

**Balance maybe, but a leader? I kind of try to avoid all that responsibility/politicking nonsense, what with my abhorring being alone and all.

Friends and Family

Fun loving and willing to help out, the Libra makes an excellent friend. Even though they can be late and indecisive, once they're on the scene, they're ready to go. This flexible sign loves to spend time with friends and family and doesn't hesitate to initiate gatherings. Sociable and suave, Librans naturally draw people to them. They have a way of creating a compelling aura of harmony around them. When it comes to challenges, this balancing sign can see both perspectives in a disagreement, making them excellent problem-solvers. Companionable, they're apt to keep their friends and family busy.

**I like to think I'm a good friend. How could they have known that about me? Just like my penchant for being late and indecisive. Assuming we define being late as typically being the first to show up to a party and indecision as trying to wait to pass judgment until all the facts are in. This is actually the cause for my ability to see all sides to an argument, not the balancing sign that creates my compelling aura. Does my companionability keep my family and friends busy? Must be all that sociable suaveness.

Career and Money

Harmony is the keyword for this sign. For the Libra, maintaining this is of the utmost importance. They can be excellent leaders and will work hard to earn and deserve the privilege. Truth and justice always prevail for Librans as they go about their days. Working with others or in a partnership is ideal for this social sign. Artistic and persuasive, these folks are gifted talkers who do well in any position that provides a platform for them to chat.

**I thought the key word was balance? I read this paragraph three times. It doesn't say anything until the last sentence. I am not artistic in the traditional sense. My sister is though. Is that close enough? She's not a Libra. Will that be a problem?
Persuasive, maybe, but I don't really choose to alter people's opinions. I offer mine when asked. Sometimes, when I'm not asked.

Careers that involve justice such as police officer, lawyer, or judge are excellent choices for Libra. They will also succeed at such occupations as diplomat, civil servant, interior decorator, composer, and fashion designer. Group settings pose no challenge for Librans - in fact, the more the merrier. Their strong sense of diplomacy serves well in almost anything they do.

**Mmm'kay... Did most of that paragraph sound really gay? Or is it just me.

If you go shopping with a Libra, best to plan some extra time! This sign can be terribly indecisive when it comes to purchasing. Balancing their money, however, is a snap for Libra. Keeping a good balance between savings and spending money is a real talent for these folks. Their love of fashion and housewares can see them out and about in stores quite often. One of Libra's favorite pastimes is to shop for someone special.

**If you cut out everything but the third sentence and make it a little more concise, like, "Hoarding money and not spending a dime is a real talent for these folks." Then they've nailed it. This passage was definitely gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Love and Sex

Finding the right partner will be a priority in the Libra's life. For those already in a relationship, maintaining the peace and harmony takes center stage. A Libra alone is a sad thing indeed, not to mention unnatural. They need to connect with others. As lovers they are expressive, creative, and balanced. They love to make their partners feel completely and thoroughly satisfied from conversation to lovemaking. Librans' charm and dedication to striking the perfect balance with others makes them wonderful partners.

**Oh this is soooo true.


Each sign has a part of the anatomy attached to it, making this the area of the body that is most sensitive to stimulation. The anatomical areas for Libra are the kidneys, lower back, adrenal glands, and appendix.

**My appendix is an erogenous zone? Isn't it useless until stimulated and then it tries to kill you?

Ruling Planet
The ruling planet for Libra is Venus. This planet's action is gentle and harmonious. It governs beauty, charm, emotional contacts, possessions, unions of all kinds, singing, art, culture, sweets and sugar, and moral character.

**You know I have to admit. I've always felt a real connection with that planet, and not just from it's gravitational pull.

The color of choice for Libra is blue.


Libra's star stone is the sapphire.

**I didn't get to choose this...

Lucky Numbers
Libra's lucky numbers are 1, 2, and 7.

**Close, 52 and 212.

Librans are most compatible with Aquarius and Gemini.

**It's so hard to keep track with all the partners I have trampling in and out my door.

Opposite Sign
The opposite sign for Libra is Aries.

**This is obviously true.

The Perfect Gift
The best gifts for a Libra are music and items that create relaxation.

**Is that code for porn? Because officially, I deny that porn is the best gift.

Pleasant conversation, beauty, balance, fairness, romance

**Doesn't everyone kind of like these things? Why isn't masturbation on the list? Everybody likes that too.

Being treated unfairly, ugly places, rough people, making a final decision

**I don't know. I'm kind of into ugly places with rough people, but definitely not rough places with ugly people.

Natural sign of the Seventh House. This house focuses on marriage, partnerships, public relations, open enemies, and other people.


Famous Librans
Will Smith, Gwen Stefani, Matt Damon, Eminem, Sting, Viggo Moretensen

**I so don't care, but in an equitable, balanced, scales of justice kind of don't care.

Best travel destinations
Tibet, Japan, Burma, Austria, Johannesburg, Copenhagen, Vienna

**I'll take lists created by monkeys throwing darts at an atlas, for one thousand Alex.

Social, fair-minded, cooperative, diplomatic, gracious

**Phew! And I thought they'd just give me a list of things everyone likes to hear about themselves.

Indecisive, will carry a grudge, avoids confrontations, self-pity

**Indecisive? I don't know...
**I'll carry a grudge, but only for a medium length of time, say 1-3 years. I don't forgive quickly, but I don't internalize it forever. So I guess that one's true!
**Avoids confrontations? Hmmm, I guess I only do it when I have to. I don't let them impede my life in any way. Is that avoiding them? I would rephrase it as I don't go looking for confrontation. I'll let you decide.
**Self-pity? Now they're just not following the rules. They've got to be smoking something and Mrs. Manners always says it's puff, puff, pass in a social setting.

Charismatic marks
Attractive, graceful, medium build, no sharp features

**For the record, I sanded down my sharp features one night while venting my teenage angst. As for the others, they must not be ready to pass just yet.

Best environment
Any place that is beautiful where the company is harmonious. Very social and happiest doing things in the company of another.

**Where all the little children have gumdrop smiles as they frolic next to a river of chocolate.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Forced Clarifications

Due to happenstance, I managed to speak to Charles today about my last blog post. He said I was wrong about my assertion that deregulation was to blame for the latest stock market hiccup. And I should stress that as far as the stock market is concerned it is just a hiccup because the total market drop, though severe, is not as bad as "real" crashes that occurred in 1929 and 1987. The drop was about 4.4% of the market, which is nothing compared to the low twenty-some percent from '87 and I have no idea, but I'm sure it was pretty bad in 1929. I'm not going to look up the exact percentages. I'm sure we can agree there is a huge difference percentage wise from those two events as compared to recent events.

Charles claimed that the current situation is due to the banks being forced by the government to lend money to poor people who would not ordinarily qualify for mortgage loans. As a result, it was governmental interference which caused the problem and the government should have stayed out of it. I told him I would look into it because I had never heard anything about it. He called me a liar (without actually using those words) in regards to my promise to look into it.

Anyway, this post is my response to his criticisms. First, I should remind people that I am neither a Democrat, nor a Republican as I feel both organizations are two halves of the same coin. So I don't blame one side or the other for deregulation. It has primarily occurred under Republican Presidencies, but this is due to the fact that the deregulation process has dominated the political scene over the last 28 years and Republicans have controlled the Oval office 20 of the last 28 years. Deregulation is, however, a cornerstone to conservative thinking, but both democrats and Republicans vote the nonsense through. This is why they are two halves of the same coin. (It's a matter of looking at actions and ignoring their words.)

Second, Charles also has an unfortunate habit of doing what most people do (even myself) of oversimplifying and blaming one or two key points for a problem. In reality, problems, especially economic ones, have much more complicated causes. Many factors contributed to the recent hiccup. I know, everyone's thinking, "Gosh golly Patrick, you're trying to blame deregulation, a single issue, as the cause." Admittedly, it looks that way, but deregulation is a rather broad excuse. If anything, people should say I am not being specific enough when I point to it as a cause.

Now, as for Charles's criticisms, I couldn't find any info directly relating to government agencies forcing lending institutions to make loans to low income individuals, but that doesn't mean it's not out there. It probably is, alas, the internet is a big cesspool of information and if you don't get your search criteria just right, you may not find the information you're looking for, or it may not land in the first three pages of search results. Who really goes any further?

So for the sake of this discussion, I'll assume Charles is correct and there were governmental influences in lending to low income crowd. It would not surprise me since the government made a big push to encourage people to keep spending after 9-11, despite all the accounting scandals that were going on at the time and getting pushed to page 12 because of the terrorist attack. Incredibly bad advice in my opinion. Telling people to go out, spend money, and pretend the economy is okay to show those dang terrorists that they can't beat our way of life, when at that very moment our economy was in a pretty serious down swing. Only a politician (or Texan?) could come up with bullshit like that, but I digress.

Naturally, forced lending to the poor are not the only influences on banking procedures. Here is a good article from the Motley Fool (an investment advisor website) entitled, "The Financial Crash in Plain English", by Cliff D'Arcy.

I'll summarize the article: The low interest rates gave banks the prime opportunity to take more risks in their lending practices and they gave out loans to higher risk people (Note it says nothing about being forced to do so by the government). Banks then took these loans and created bonds and other derivative instruments (a security that "derives" its value from another source) and sold them off to other banks and insurers after giving them a stamp of approval as a highly rated security.

The article doesn't mention derivative securities, as they are a bit of a mystery that neither Charles nor I fully understand. The article does mention the banks waving a magic wand to create them. When I get to my argument, we'll see why they're a deregulation problem.

The article also fails to mention the rise in the interest rates and only mentions a decrease in housing values. This is a serious omission in my opinion because these low interest mortgages weren't fixed rate mortgages. They were variable rate mortgages and when the interest rates went up, so many people that were "on the bubble" had been given loans they could no longer afford. Couple that with the drop in house prices that the article does mention and you have people defaulting on loans for property that is not worth the amount of the loan or at least not the proper "industry standard" in terms of the percentage of the loan.

Eventually, investors realize they have been duped. The shitload of bad loans winds up hampering the lending ability of many institutions and a credit crunch starts beginning last fall (about a year ago) and is evidenced by a decrease in loans being made between banks. In short, they don't trust the solvency of each other. Over the last year, housing prices have slipped further and more loans have been going bad. The article actually goes through and lists all the companies that started failing because of this decline starting with a UK company last September, through Fannie Mae, et al this spring, and on up to the present. (Basically, this shows the problem is not restricted to just the U.S. and gives me further cause to doubt Charles's claims that government involvement caused all this.)

After that, the article goes on to speak to the investor and what all this means to them. Knock yourself out. It's not germane to this discussion.

Okay, so far we have Charles's hypothesis that is not terribly supported by a professional , but as I also pointed out, Mr. D'Arcy picks his battles in over simplification and doesn't get into other details I felt were important, so I still can't disregard Charles's claims altogether, but I don't think I can agree that government regulation caused the problem. It's clear greed had much more to do with it. What a surprise!

Now I'll get into my deregulation argument as the primary cause. A tedious task no doubt, but when I get into these types of discussions I am forced to actually look up the names of these things, so I guess this is good practice at reinvigorating my knowledge base. Start with this article, The Long Demise of Glass-Steagall. It's not so much an article as it is a timeline of the primary regulations set into place after the Great Depression to aid in avoiding another Great Depression. The law was called the Glass-Steagall Act. I'll use highlights from this to prove my point. I could use more resources, but I'm already getting sick of writing this, no doubt you are getting sick of reading.

We start in 1933 with this act, according to the article, the legislation sought "to limit the conflicts of interest created when commercial banks are permitted to underwrite stocks or bonds." This legislation forced "banks to choose between being a simple lender or an underwriter (brokerage)." An underwriter is a company that assesses risk on investments. Hopefully, you can already see where I'm going with this based on my earlier comment.

The law is actually strengthened in 1956, not much happens in the '60s and 70's, but banks and brokerage firms begin their lobbying attempts to get Congress to relax the law. That appears to not have worked out so well, so in 1986 & 87, the Fed steps in and "reinterprets" some key passages that allow banks to start acting as brokerages, but limits them to 5% income on such matters. (The first signs of deregulation!)

The law is loosened to a 10% limit in 1990.

In '91 and again in '95 legislation is nearly passed to repeal Glass-Stegall altogether.

In '96 & '97 the Fed raises the underwriting limit to 25% of the institutions income. (According to the article this renders the Glass-Steagall Act obsolete as "Virtually any bank holding company wanting to engage in securities business would be able to stay under the 25 percent limit on revenue." I don't personally know enough about financial markets to make this assessment. I'll leave that determination up to the reader. I can say that that is, obviously, a rather significant percentage of a company's income. Certainly enough to get banks interested in the practice.)

In 1999: "After 12 attempts in 25 years, Congress finally repeals Glass-Steagall, rewarding financial companies for more than 20 years and $300 million worth of lobbying efforts. Supporters hail the change as the long-overdue demise of a Depression-era relic." (A law signed by Clinton! And nobody believes me when I call him a snake. But again, deregulation is not a Democrat versus Republican issue.)

The timeline stops there, but let's recap with what was said above.

Banks started bundling their bad loans together into bonds and other magical derivative instruments. They then used their underwriting priveledges to over assess their value and pawned them off onto other institutions. A priveledge obtained through the deregulation of the laws put in place just after the first great stock market crash of 1929. Laws that were made to prevent this very circumstance.

Thus, we had the laws in place to keep this EXACT thing from happening and they were deregulated out of existence throughout the '80s and '90s. So how exactly is the current problem not due to deregulation? Given these facts, there is no way anyone can claim deregulation is not to blame.

Easy Street

Note: I did make two posts today, so you make want to read the previous post below first.

I made some comments last post about the economic collapse last week, so I decided to say something more than, "I told you so." What disgusts me is the governmental buyout of the problem. The conservative government deregulates these markets duping the common people into believing that less government is better, even though these deregulations have no effect on them. Deregulation is for corporations. Now these corporations have no oversight and are allowed to use their "greedy algorithms" (I put that in quotes because I'm analogously using the math term in that they take what they can at each step while relinquishing the least, not the mundane use of greed). This can only work for so long before things collapse. For businesses to succeed long term they have to give back. They have to invest and build for the long term, not be concerned only with what's going to happen in the next 3-4 quarters.

Those regulations were in place for a reason!

Deregulation is just another term for the trickle down economics of the '80s. In fact, that's where the modern use of the term originates from. Didn't we learn back then that economic bliss never trickles down to those that need it? Back then the news media outlets were deregulated and look where they are now? Why they even bother to hide their biases at this point is beyond me. The last thirty years they've ceased to be about news delivery and have become a spin machine.

Hello! McFly! What shall we deregulate next?

I know. How about the food industry? That way people can eat unclean food and die from various forms of food poisoning. In short, we can just eliminate the people rather than just ruin their economic future. CEO's don't seem to be doing too badly for their poor handling of their businesses. Sadly, there's not enough money in the food industry to bother deregulating.

So what's the government going to do when these irresponsible actions "trickle down" and finally start bankrupting the common man? We're getting closer. In the U.S., More than 1.6 million bankruptcies occur every year. That's 1 person in every 188. Is the government going to bail them out? Did they act any less responsible than than AIG?

Too bad the '80s excessive fissuring of the middle class makes these people so economically unimportant. Maybe then, the government would actually take care of them. And before anyone starts ragging on this lower middle class as being uneducated and lazy, I would like to point out that me, most of my family, and a rather large portion of my friends belongs to this class. The rest of my family isn't nearly as lackadaisical about money as I am. We're living proof that trickle down economics doesn't trickle down far enough. You can't realistically give all the breaks to corporations since their goal is not to pass down the wealth, it is to create their own wealth as efficiently as possible.

A byproduct of this "efficiency" is the mandatory depression layoffs to "tighten the ship". Naturally, this makes the overall economy worse. If they want the economy to recover faster, they should be keeping these people employed so that the consumers in the area will be capable of consuming. The government should be working with these corporations to keep these people employed, not giving them tax breaks so that their margins remain the same. (Economic margins refers to a "rate" of profit/sales/etc. A calculus concept that drives too many business decisions, so it does have its uses!)

To date the argument has been that the government gives the tax breaks, they can't force the businesses to run their companies one way or another. To which I say, "Why not?" If a business wants a tax break, we shouldn't sit around and hope the corporations do the right thing, we should require it.

OH NO! It's more regulation! More government's bad! So says the media spin machine. I think I'll use my common sense rather than listen to their corporate biased deregulated asses.

A little of this, A little of that...

As I'm sure everyone has guessed by now, I've decided to take it easy for the month of September in terms of the blog posts. I am also relaxing a bit more overall, which is a bit sad because I felt I relaxed plenty even while writing. I guess I'm just using the time to recharge mentally on a scale more than just getting by for the next day.

I received an email from my adviser yesterday encouraging me to call. I plan to do that this morning. Hopefully, he'll still give me a recommendation for my teaching, though he's never actually seen me teach. Such are the idiosyncrasies of references.

The people who have actually seen me teach are students and unworthy of giving me a recommendation. At SUNY Albany the grad students pulled together and helped each other with our teaching duties, so a number of my peers are familiar with my style and efforts and know that I was every bit as good at teaching as I was my research, but they are pretty new in the field and their recommendations would hold less weight than my advisers. References are indeed a strange game.

Maybe I should learn Turkish and look for a job overseas. I have become increasingly more disgusted with the actions of my government, maybe it's time to check out other alternatives. Too bad I'm not very good at learning foreign languages. It doesn't seem to be my forte. For a while, I looked into learning Russian at the prospect of going to Moscow and maybe getting a teaching job there for a year. My adviser talked me out of it. He said things were so bad for their professors, most of them had part time jobs to supplement their income because schools paid their teachers so little. Needless to say, I wasn't interested in teaching in a foreign country where I would have to pick up a job at McDonald's so that I could eak out a living. What's even more sad, is that a job at McDonald's in this country isn't enough to even eak out a living.

I guess I am heading down that road of discussing the economy. I've been saying for just over 18 months now that our economy is even more dire than most people even realize. I guess after last week's down turn in the markets, I can finally say, I told you so. I'll discuss more in my next post.

I have been meaning to work more on my teaching portfolio but have been unmotivated up until now. Today, I feel much more enthusiastic about the process so I guess I just needed a good week off. Too bad, I'll be getting another week off next week. Well, I guess that's not bad. I'm looking forward to being around people again, but I will need to make up the time in some way or another.

After partaking in an act of seclusion for the last six months, I can understand why people eventually get skittish about going outside. I honestly feel I have lost a bit of confidence in dealing with people. It's hard to explain, but if someone was even slightly agoraphobic and spent six months closed up as much as I have, I can see why they would become nearly housebound permanently.

I'm not sure I can explain it properly without more thought. Maybe not even then. It is an interesting phenomenon. I look forward to next week's road trip if only to see if I have become agoraphobic myself. I've never had a panic attack. Actually, with my ability to insulate different aspects of my life, I've never been overly susceptible to anxiety at all. The last time I had serious feelings of anxiety were when the restaurant was failing 13 years ago. I guess that was a point of extreme economic crunch not unlike what is impending for myself now. Maybe that's what I'm feeling.

I guess I'll find out soon enough!

Saturday, September 20, 2008


I guess it is time for me to put up a blog post. I don't think I have much to say, but whatever. I'll do my best to say something remotely interesting. I've spent the last couple of days sending out inquiries to friends and acquaintances for use of their status in the academic community as references. We'll see if any of them are willing to vouch for me after a year of seclusion. Something that is abstractly looked down upon in academic circles.

Why you ask? It's kind of a hypocrite thing. Academics like people to think that they are supportive of everyone following their own dreams for their own sake, but in reality, academics are two things:

First, they are constantly fighting to justify their own existence. It's not sufficient to go through the educational process, you have to continuously prove yourself to your peers that you can still do the work.

This, kind of, conflicts with the second thing. As my adviser put it, academics are writers, not readers. Most of that academic crap that gets written, goes unread. If thirty people read your work in the first year, you are impressive.

Thus, the goal of academia is to prove to your peers, who are not reading your work, that you are smart. Meanwhile, your peers are doing work to impress you and the rest of the peers and none of you are reading that work. This is what my adviser means by academics being writers and not readers. All this work is being written and no ones out there reading it.

This is a sad state of affairs for academia because they have disassociated themselves so much from the common folk, that their work is incomprehensible to the average person. This is particularly bad for mathematics and most of the other hard sciences. There was a time when you could discuss the work of a scientist with the average person and they could be made to understand with minor clarifications. Today, science is so technical and has developed its own vernacular that literally it has become a foreign language to the layman. In mathematics, there are some easily stated problems that any ten old child can comprehend, but the proof is so complex and far reaching, maybe two or three dozen people in the entire world can understand why the statement is true.

This creates a chasm between academics and laymen. (This is where I tie things back to my situation.) Dreams are for laymen. Science is for scientists. I followed a dream, and It's going to cost me in my academic career. More specifically, as an academic, I should have had more noble goals with my education that fulfilling a childhood fantasy. Worse yet, my fantasy to write genre fiction barely utilizes my scientific background, so it is viewed as me turning my back on the academic community.

Naturally, not all academics think like this. And if you pulled them aside one by one, they would look at these words as though I were some sort of wacko chastising the community, but putting the entire community together with their prejudices and snobberies and it does turn into the truth. Especially if they don't know me personally. It is easy to create a prejudice about a person you have not really met, and in terms of me getting an academic job, if it comes down to me, the crazy guy, against the person who has followed the proper and correct academic path, who would you hire?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Mike Zazaian, Are You For Real?

Make sure you read the post, "Article From Tech Free Press" before reading this one. It should be located just below this one, but will eventually slip off the first page.

Okay, now that you have that out of the way. What do you think? Do you think the world's going to end? Well, the collider is online by now, so obviously the world isn't going to end. I posted this article as a demonstration of precisely what is wrong with news today. The point of checking a news outlet is so that the populace can know what is going on around the world.

What should we expect from the news? In my opinion, it should be a presentation of facts and not an attempt at drama. Of course, we're all people and we all have opinions and writer's are going put their biases in their news reports. I ask you what are the biases of this Mike Zazaian based on this article? What were your initial impressions of the article aside from the fact that he and his editor let a misspelling of the word "discrepencies" get past themselves, and of course, he uses the word "disasterous" twice.

Is that even a word? I'll give you a hint: No.

Of course, that's just my being picky about the lack of technical professionalism in the article and we're here to discuss the biases of the article. Why am I concerned with this? Obviously, because the article is stupid and treats you as though you're stupid. Granted, 95% of the people reading the article probably are stupid and take the it at face value, but that's another post altogether. Fortunately, my friends are not, and I can gripe with them here.

Anyway, I've already let it slip that I think the writer is solely going for an overly dramatic story. It is possible he thinks a story about a new supercollider is boring and he feels the need to spice it up. Honestly, supercolliders are boring. If you're not an egghead physicists into the very most up to date research, it's never going to affect you. Sorry, to disappoint everyone. It's the truth. Nothing this machine will ever do will ever affect anyone you know.

So what issues do I have with this article? Let's start with the beginning. It's in bold; it grabs our attention and such. It promises, "physicists express concern", and based on the title of the article, "World's Largest Supercollider Could Destroy the Universe", I can only assume that physicists are concerned that their work could destroy the universe.

However, let's take a closer look at the article. There are two quotes. The first is a press release from CERN that tells us what we don't know about the universe. Gee, what a surprise that we don't know everything about the universe. In a nutshell, this is why physicists want to perform these experiments with these big expensive machines, I'm glad the author reaffirmed this for us all. As I said, most people are stupid and need to be reminded that there are still mysteries in the universe. You know, like Bigfoot and Chupacabra.

Anyway, I'm still worried here. Our universe might end. So I read on to the second quote, where, AHHHHH! We get our promises of the title fulfilled and this Ran Livneh person tells us that some wacky shit might happen and we could all die.


What ever are we going to do?

But we pause, and we all say in unison, "Wait a minute. I was promised physicists were going to tell me the universe is going to end." (We all said that right?)

This Ran Livneh person is a software developer, not a physicist. Who is this person to tell us what any physicists would say? If this is true, how come Mike Zazaian isn't quoting a physicist?

Okay, I'll ruin the magic. It's because any physicist worth their salt will say that there is no chance that mini-big bangs and micro blackholes are going to get out of control and destroy the universe in a supercollider.

Sorry, I know it's not a very interesting story if we don't jazz it up a bit, but even a person as ignorant as me about physics (which I guess, isn't ignorant compared to the average person, but I am pretty ignorant as far as physicists go I assure you) knows that the energy of the collisions within a supercollider are so small compared to what goes on near a black hole or what went on during the big bang, it's not even going to register on the universe's radar. In fact, these collisons will probably be orders of magnitudes smaller than what goes on in the upper atmosphere of the earth from the radiation of the sun, so why is Mike Zazaian writing this article?

We all know why. Because Journalism is dead. It's all about wowing the reader. Getting them psyched up about reading the article, no matter how dumb it has to be made to do it. Journalism isn't about presenting information. There's little educational value in an article because the journalist generally has no idea what it is they are reporting on and has to jazz it up so apathetic readers like themselves can stay awake through the entire article.

Journalism is about entertainment and we all know sex and death sell. If only Mr. Zazaian could have made the supercollider sexy. I may not have noticed how dumb his article really was.

After looking through the site for a bit, I noticed quite a few of the articles were written by Mr. Zazaian and the site hasn't posted anything in over a year and a half. I suspect the site was a project of his and either he or it or both burned out. I was pretty tough on him in my criticisms, but I also feel that people need to be quite a bit more critical about what they're reading. I just happened to pick this article because it rated highly in my search. A lot of people get sucked into reading schlock with such titles. I read it because I knew from the title it would make good critical fodder. I had no idea it was such a cornucopia at the time.

Hopefully, within the next year and a half people will read this blog post and learn a little something about reading into the stuff they are reading.

Article From Tech Free Press

Here's an article by Mike Zazaian, originally published on the Tech Free Press site, here. It came out on September 12, 2006. Sorry, it's so old. I found the article on a google search on supercolliders and I only looked at the September 12th part .

Make sure you read this article before reading the post entitled, "Mike Zazaian, Are You For Real?".

Title: "World's Largest Supercollider Could Destroy the Universe"

As the Cernier company prepares to test the world’s largest supercollider physicists express concern that too much is being left to chance.

The Cernier Company or CERN, the world’s largest physics research firm, is currently in the process of building what would be the world’s largest working supercollider. Known as “Large Hadron Collider,” or LHC, the device is 27 kilometers (16.7 miles) long and resides in a tunnel approximately 100 meters beneath the Franco-Swiss border, just outside of Geneva.

By accelerating protons toward each other at 99.999999% the speed of light the LHC can recreate conditions similar to those that resulted from the Big Bang, ultimately alighting a great deal about the particles and forces that comprise our Universe. A press release from CERN better illuminates their intent for the project:

…Our current understanding of the Universe is incomplete. We have seen that the theory we use, the Standard Model, leaves many unsolved questions. Among them, the reason why elementary particles have mass, and why are their masses different is the most perplexing one. It is remarkable that such a familiar concept is so poorly understood.

LHC functions by accelerating two counter-rotating beams of protons toward each other at high speeds. By cooling magnets to near absolute zero (-273 degrees celcius) with an enormous cryogenics system, the LHC can move particles toward each other at speeds only one millionth of a percent away from the speed of light.

And while Physicists have the logistics of the LHC well in hand ideas about its outcome are strictly theoretical. According to one scenario tiny black holes could be produced which hopefully would decay into what is known as Hawking radiation (the tinier the black hole, the faster it evaporates). If these black holes fail to decay, however, the consequences could be disasterous. CERN software developer Ran Livneh has expressed some concerns about the project:

This physical realm is unknown, and dangerous phenomena might arise…Any physicist will tell you that there is no way to prove that generated black holes will decay. The consequences of being mistaken are unfathomable. This subject deserves serious unbiased discussion.

Despite these theoretical discrepencies the LHC project will continue as scheduled toward its launch in 2007. Mankind has never progressed itself due to fear of the unknown. Although the results of the Large Hadron Collider could potentially be disasterous, the intellectual consequences of not conducting the experiment could be equally so.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Step One

Okay, I guess tonight offered up the completion of step one in this months goals. I finished the second draft of Part One. I ended up recycling quite a bit of one section so things finished up pretty quickly. Tomorrow I'll give one last go through and ship it.

After that, I decided to get for a bit. I walked down to the Monte Carlo and back. There's nothing special about that particular casino, I just opted to go the bathroom in there and turned for home when I left. It was a nice three hour walk.

While on this walk I started listening to Book Three: Destruction, by J.C. Hutchins. It was the first time I've used my .mp3 player, well second really. I've only had it about a week and I need to get more comfortable ear plugs for it. The ones that come with the gizmo have buds that are too big for my ear. In fact, I can't imagine they aren't too big for most people's ears. I can understand shipping cheap ear buds, It's an expensive accessory they can bleed you for later, but there has to be stuff out there equally cheap that is usable by more people. I guess they'd fear that too many like me would just live with the cheap stuff. Oh well.

I've also decided to give up caffeine for a few weeks. I've been using it too much lately and it's time to kick it for a while. Just in time, I can nap for the weekend. I guess that's it for now. I'm going to get back to listening to my book.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Another Six Months Gone

I'm still a little jittery as I type this. My breakfast of Ramen noodles washed down with two liters of Mountain Dew has probably just cost me another six months out of my seventies, but it did result in a pretty good night of writing. I wrote 1048 prior to midnight and proceeded to write another 1454 after midnight. Since I have a PhD in throwing out a random numbers, I'll say about 35% was recycled material from the old chapter three.

I had hoped to keep the second draft of part one to three chapters totaling about 15,000 words, but with the project being serialized, it seems to present itself a little better as four chapters. This is because it is best if a chapter ends with a climax to a situation or a small cliffhanger of sorts, so I felt compelled to break up chapter 3 into two smaller chapters. I am also going to go over my word limit, but not enough to be of a concern, maybe 17 or 18 thousand words. It is the first part of the series after all and some things need explanation that won't be needed later.

I guess my readjusted goals are to finish chapter four tomorrow. Do a quick edit of the four chapters on Saturday, maybe on into Sunday and then ship it off to Cullen. I guess I'll get to see what he'll let me get away with in a couple weeks. Literally, I will be able to physically see him, so he can rap me on the noggin for the stupid parts.

What do I mean by that?

Kim has offered to buy me a plane ticket to Albany for my birthday. (Despite my requests for no presents.) The timing was a little too good to pass up seeing as I will be at a down point in my writing, and an upswing in my job hunting efforts. It'll be good to head onto SUNY's campus for an afternoon to hit up some of my old teacher's for recommendations in person. (Actually, I'll email them in advance, but whatever, I'll still visit. Gotta do the whole pollyticking and kiss ass thingy.)

Of course, more importantly, I'll get the opportunity to visit all my friends in Albany that I've missed. I know, from time to time, I get cheesy and talk about how wonderful my friends are and how I wouldn't be where I am without them. And I don't mean just my friends in Albany. I mean all of them, and my family too.

Cheesy or not, it's true. All the way on the other side of the country, they've been the driving force I've needed to keep myself going during this project. They've been so supportive, not doing my best and not managing to accomplish as much as I have, would not have been a failure to just myself. I would have failed all of them as well.

Sadly, I bring myself to tears when I write about such things. Not as bad as when I wrote that letter to Vicki and her husband about what a terrible friend I am and then attached it to their wedding gift. I think I was at my worst for that one. I actually had to stop and finish a few hours later. I'm such a softy when it comes to my friends.

It's embarrassing...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Days of Yore

Someone on my alien guild's website posted the following question:

If you could live in a different time period of the past, what would it be?

Rather than explaining that the proper phrasing should be, "when would it be?" I responded with the following:

I like the present just fine. I wouldn't want to live in the past where a nick on the face while shaving could wind up becoming infected, thus causing your own death.

Seriously, this was not uncommon before the inventing of antibiotics just last century!

There is little nostalgia in the past. People don't seem to think about how tough times were back then compared to now. It was not a simpler time.

If anything, I'd want to go to the future. Who doesn't want to see if mankind can solve the Riemann Hypothesis before we destroy ourselves?

I left my response at that, but I could have gone on and on. I have never been able to figure out this desire people have for going back in time. They act like the old west, was Little House on the Prairie. People ought to be thankful that wasn't filmed in authentic smell-o-vision because a one room log cabin with a dirt floor occupied by 5 or 6 people who do not bathe every day is just not going to smell like a bouquet of flowers, no matter how loving and caring they pretend to be.

Modern people would enjoy that nonsense for about one day. After they realize they have to go to bed once it's dark out because there's no electricity and you can't always afford candles and oil for lamps, much less stay up late to watch whatever flick is on the idiot box, they'd be longing for their creature comforts. I'm not even going to discuss outhouses and the historic uses for the Sears, Roebuck catalog.

What exactly is the allure of "the old days"? Pick any time in history prior to 1950 (chosen rather arbitrarily since most people romanticize time periods well before their own lifetimes) and try to convince me that those days were better?

Sorry, the power of prayer didn't do anything back then to help a person's health any more than it does now. I'll stick with modern medicine and all it's flaws thank you very much.

My sister claims that buying Cottonelle toilet paper is a form of pampering oneself and the fact that I buy the rather efficient Scott brand with a 1000 sheets per roll is a sign that I don't know how to pamper myself. I disagree. I pamper myself just fine. I mean look at me, I'm over indulgence personified. It's just when I decide I'm going to pamper myself, I don't start with my asshole. Out of sight, out of mind I suppose. I'd like to see her make that same argument in the days before the Sears, Roebuck catalog. (Oops! I guess I did get into it.)

I got great idea! Why don't we strap our fat asses to a horse and take a quick ride to the next town over and back. It shouldn't take much more than the whole day! Sounds romantic to me.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Book Two(s)

No, not MY book two. I just started listening to Book Two: Deceit, by J.C. Hutchins. I mentioned the first book, Descent, as the first podiobook I was listening to and since I decided was taking today off from writing, I figured I may as well take the time to continue the story. I may yet do a little writing, but I won't be forcing the issue.

I've been careful to listen to the presentation and such while at the same time I've been paying attention to the actual story elements. Essentially, I've been trying to make sure the backbone of my own story holds up. I think it should be fine.

In my last post, I said something about having had to make an effort to find things to do last week. I failed to mention that I did read two books, but they were for enjoyment. The stories were light and much ado about nothing. Just the type of brain rotting candy I was looking for. Alas, I have still not read through, The Scar by China Mieville. I said something about the book a couple of months ago, but haven't made it past page 38. I'm not sure why I am finding this book so much harder to stick with compared to the first one. (That's another "book two" reference by the way. Just in case you missed it.)

I haven't mentioned the weather in some time, but you'll see why I'm mentioning it now in a couple paragraphs. I had been hoping the hot weather would start to break, but it has not. Daily highs are still in the 100-105 range and the overnight lows about 80-85. A few times it has slipped into the upper '70s.

Today it rained. One of those big cooling rains. It's about 80 right now and it is only 7pm. I have my fan sitting in my foxhole (I can't seem to bring myself to call an exit that lies underground, so that my chest height is at true ground level, a balcony) blowing in fresh air. It's a nice change from all that air conditioning.

I am curious to see if my nose manages to make the final adjustment. My nasal passages just don't seem to be able to take this dry air and I get minor nose bleeds every day. I was hoping after six months I would have gotten used to it, and it would have gone away, but it hasn't. I am constantly blowing blood out of my nose. I know what is going on biologically and it's nothing to worry about, but it is getting annoying. It also tells me that I probably wouldn't be able to live out here indefinitely. If it's annoying me after six months, it'll probably drive me insane after a few years. Or maybe I just have to wait for more temperate weather.

Alrighty then, I guess I'll get back to listening to the podiobook and finish preparing my next set of stuff to be mailed out. It's getting close to that time again.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

TWIB Notes

This Week In Blogging's Notes!

Okay, so the title is originally take from a show called This Week in Baseball and they had a segment called TWIB notes. I didn't figure anyone would get the reference. Maybe Matt or Cullen...

It took about 5 days for Kim to post a comment about my lack of blogging. I knew it'd be less than a week, but was unsure exactly how long it would take her. Now I know.

Of course, my silence was no grand experiment. I simply decided to take the week off, mostly, as a reward for doing so well the last two months and didn't bother to blog about it. I also found it to be an exhaustive week. I am not enjoying the rewriting process. If it were edits, I'd enjoy the efforts much more because it's a sign of progress. These rewrites makes me feel like I'm starting over from scratch.

In reality, I am. The rewrite of the first chapter recycled mere sentences. It was 4500 words of completely new material that I had already written. Couple that disenfranchisement with my slowly growing exhaustion for the writing process as a whole and motivation has been low.

I doped up on caffeine all week and rewrote the second chapter. I did manage to save about 800 words, give or take. Scattered sentences mostly, but a few (not even requiring a full hand to count so few) paragraphs. The chapter ended with 5000 words, so I did manage over 4000 in new writing. A respectable week, but I really had to drag myself through it.

That's the main reason I didn't bother blogging. I just didn't care to write about it all, though this was potentially a mistake. I found myself looking for things to do all week, the least notable of which was all the napping. Taking so much caffeine has it's prices. I don't sleep well for long stretches and thus, I crash often in an effort to recoup the lost sleep.

I did manage to practice my reading aloud skills. I recorded myself reading Chapter One. I have a long way to go in that department. I don't relax enough or even breath enough while reading. I'll keep practicing. I have plenty of time before I need to start releasing any of this stuff. In fact, I can take as long as I want.

I'm looking forward to finishing the third chapter this week. With all the junk getting cut out, my first four chapters has become three. A none too unexpected byproduct of numerically cutting 8000 words. I am hopeful that as much as half of this last chapter will be salvageable. There are a number of things I liked in the presentation, so maybe it only needs more tweaking and less revision. We'll see over the next few days.

As Kim was attempting to poke my blog with a stick to check for survivors, she let me know that she was joining the blogosphere with her new blog:

It is of a political nature for conservative women. She is the only friend I have that falls into such a demographic, so I doubt an endorsement from me will provide her with any readers, but I have done my duty in returning the shout out.

Sunday, August 31, 2008


It seems even after taking the first three days of the month off and then another five at the end of last week and the beginning of this week, I managed to achieve all of my goals. It took another 1399 words to finish the second draft of the first chapter. Again, almost entirely new material. I finished this week with 8138 words. A second best all time effort to my 12,020 words in the first full week of this month.

Those are two damn good weeks and were sufficient to boost the month's output to 28,077 words. A total that breaks last months record by a thousand words. It wasn't as consistent an effort as July's (I took four days off completely in July and twelve in August) but the binge writing was apparently equally effective.

If I were to seek to continue this pace of bettering my accomplishments, I guess I would go for 30,000 words in September and up my weekly goals to 6000 words, but unfortunately, I have to set non-numerical goals for this month.

My first goal, will be to finish the second draft of Part One: The Policy Makers. As I said, I just finished the first chapter and I have three to go. I think I will set the second novel aside completely as I have the past couple of days and finish this goal, or attempt to finish this goal in the next week to ten days. In the revision process, I will be trimming the manuscript from 23,000 words to 15,000, give or take. I don't expect this to be too much of a problem seeing as it has been a complete rewrite thus far. Maybe it was just the first chapter that was so sucky...

Yeah right, well, I know there's one or two nuggets of gold in the next three chapters. I remember Cullen complimenting a couple of things in particular. That means I have at least two sentences that are salvageable!

The second goal, apparently the goal that begins sometime the week after next, is the job hunt thing. I am tempted to set this as the main focus, and relieve myself of all writing obligations for a couple of weeks. In fact, I may as well declare that now. A two week moratorium on writing so that I can focus solely on getting my teaching portfolio and "junk" put together. Otherwise, I'll write to avoid making up the job materials. I'll need to start looking at the job postings and selecting which ones I'll want to set my sights on. Quite likely, I'll be sending in my registration for the joint meetings in January.

What are the joint meetings you ask?

The joint meetings, and yes they really are called the joint meetings, are the annual MAA and AMS meetings. They hold them together for efficiency. Leave it to mathematicians right? Anyway, the joint meetings are also the first step in the applications process for a great number of teaching positions. There is an entirely separate section of the meeting devoted to...

Hmm, it seems my friend, Larry DeMarco had a baby today. He just sent me a picture to my phone. I'm sure his girlfriend probably played a major role. It takes two to tango after all.

Anyway, Congratulations! Yeah, the miracle of birth and all that bloody rot. I'd get more excited, but little Rosemary wasn't named after me, so I can only get mildly electrified.

I'm sure I was on the short list, anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, an entirely separate section of the meeting is devoted to the cattle-like rustling of unemployed teachers through a slaughter house of 15 minute interviews with representatives of schools looking to fill vacant positions. Like every labor market in this country at the moment, there's far more interviewees than interviewers.

I believe my friend Amy went through 28 of these short interviews during her three days at the event. From this, she managed to get 7 on site interviews, and 4 job offers. Such is the benefit of being a woman with a math PhD. If I can get 3-4 on site interviews and one job offer from about 30 interviews. I'll be doing pretty good for a honkey mofo male. Thank God I have all the advantages in our society, or I may not do that well.

This year, the meetings are being held in Washington D.C.. This is quite convenient seeing as I have two good friends in the neighborhood, Scott and Moose. Perhaps I can move out of Vegas in December, put my crap in storage, and bum off those two for a couple months. Eventually working my way down to South Carolina where I can hang with John for a couple weeks. Oddly enough, the last time I stayed with him was during the joint meetings in '06. In late March, I can make my way back up to Albany after all the shitty weather is gone. Guess I'll have to start planting the seeds for my pathetic trip of mooching and begging.

I guess that leaves the last week of September unaccounted for. Perhaps, that's when I can plant my moochy-beggy seeds. Who could say no on my birthday? I guess I'll play it by ear. This is going to be quite the transitory month. With luck, I'll be starting applications and the second layer BS for the job stuff. Also, with a bit more luck, Cullen and his secret weapon friend will have a great number of wonderful suggestions on improving Part One. Maybe I can start a third draft. I need to polish that first part up for a writing grant application. (Yeah you caught me, I don't know how to spell his friend's name and I don't want to misspell it here. Those in the know, know who I'm talking about.)

Also, as I have mentioned before, the end of the month is my birthday, so I'll probably take a few days to let myself out of the lair. After I finish that second draft it will have been a pretty intense three months of deep undercover work. Hopefully, temperatures will cool back down into the 90's so I can get some comfortable outdoor time. Maybe a tan.

Anyway, here's a rambly post to make up for all the short ones this week. By the way, this was also my best month of blogging yet. Not only did I manage to post on 25 days, there's 16,000 words in this months postings. That makes 44,000 for the month. Pretty cool...

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Comfortably Numb

You know. I really don't care for Pink Floyd. They're just another band in a long line of '60's and '70's bands that just needs to be permanently retired because their music is just too old.

Anyway, I stuck solely with the second draft today. It is the priority after all.

Today was another long day of struggled writing. People say writing a novel is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days, it feels more like a battle. I guess that is the price I pay for retraining myself to a (hopefully) better style of writing.

I managed 2286 words over the course of 4-5 short sessions. I would guess 85 to 90% of it is new material. That's another thing that slows me down: Trying to determine what little is worth saving.

My brain feels numb, so I guess this'll be another short post, but I did want to pass on a little nugget of internet interestingness.

I learned of this website in one of the skeptic podcasts I listen to. (The podcast is called "Skepticality" for the none of you who are interested.)

I'll explain the website first. It's intent is to provide documented anecdotal evidence that sometimes seemingly innocuous things can cause harm. Granted, "documented anecdotal evidence" is a bit of an oxymoron, but it does serve it's purpose of providing information and examples.

The theory behind the website is to show people that things like naturopathy, which is often considered, at worst, benign in its effects can occasionally have serious ill effects. It's a site that tries to show comments like, "If it's just snake oil, then it's not really hurting anyone except in the wallet" are false claims. Like any good skeptic site, it does not discriminate against topics, so some may be offended by a few of the categories, but I'll let y'all make that determination for yourselves.

As for "skeptic podcasts", the skeptic movement is a scholarly movement that is attempting to get more people to think critically about everyday and not so everyday topics. Too many people accept inaccurate information and anecdotes as evidence for a lot of nonsense. This movement/mentality tries to get people to ask questions and challenge that nonsense.

I'm too tired/lazy to go into more detail. Feel free to check out the home of the Skeptic's Society:

I can't fully endorse this particular website, as I have not perused it too much, but I did sign up for the newsletter. What's the harm in signing up for a free email newsletter? Since it's not listed as a category, it must be okay.

Friday, August 29, 2008

OH MY! No! No! No! No!

I started the morning off with 624 new words in the second novel and then set about reading my first draft, so I could begin the rewrite.


I thought you guys were my friends. Why didn't anyone tell me the first draft was so horrible?

I know a writer is his or her own worst critic, but man does it stink! Even I wanted to stop reading after the first few paragraphs.

So I started the second draft which, in this case, means I'm saving almost nothing and starting over. I wrote another 791 words toward that end. A little shy of what I wanted for the day, but I may go back and write a little more before going to bed, so I guess that might be up in the air.

I wasn't nearly as tired today as I have been the past few days. Guess I'm over my lack of caffeine lull. Sadly, I spent more butt time in the chair writing than I normally do for so little production. I guess I was thinking quite a bit as well. I suppose that is to be expected when starting a new project. Hopefully, this next attempt won't be so painful to read eh Cullen?

I've been out here close to six months. I am just starting to feel the crunch of a lack of time. Up until the past few days, I was writing as though I had all the time in the world and it came with a little diligence. I have no complaints with my work efforts up to this point. Now, I feel as though I have to insist upon myself to get stuff done and it feels like things are just starting to get difficult.

I'm not talking about the pressure of impending deadlines. It's rare when I get bogged down with deadlines (assuming I don't forget them entirely, which has been known to happen because I get so lax with them). I'm talking about working harder to take things to the next level. I felt I was asking a fair amount from myself before, but now I seem to be asking for a little more.

I guess, as they say, this is show time.