Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Fart Onomatopoeia

As I was trying to come up with a title to this post, I wanted a "fart sound" followed by "Ow! My Brain!", but I could not come up with a suitable word to emulate a fart sound. Perhaps someone out there can post in the comments a suitable onomatopoeia.

I slept better last night, but still not terribly well. I woke with a slight headache and that generally uninspired mood, but since I took yesterday off, I just couldn't justify it two days in a row. I know how hard many of my friends work each week, so it's hard for me to whine about feeling goopy when a days work averages less than four hours for me.

Nope! I can't even muster up sympathy for myself. So I consumed 3 ibuprofin, a 5 hour energy shot, and a glass of Pepsi. A true breakfast of champions! All I was lacking was a box of little chocolate donuts and I'd be ready for the Olympics this summer.

This concoction seemed to do the trick in terms of getting rid of my low grade headache and providing enough energy to write 850+ words. Sometimes, you just need the right drug cocktail in the morning to get things going.

If you think my poor diet is likely the biggest contributor to my morning yuckies, I submit that I felt pretty good this past month until I made the yummy, delicious, and healthy vegetable soup a couple of days ago.

For those of you that said right away, "Hey! It doesn't logically follow that the soup is making your mornings crappy."

Congrats! You're learning. Give yourself a gold star. Now go away kid, yer botherin' me.

Back to the issue at hand, fart onomatopoeia. Why would I need such a literary device? Well, one of the main things I intended to blog about today was the fact that my supply of 5 hour energy is running low. After this morning, I have 4 bottles left. See? Now it all comes together. that's why I wanted a fart onomatopoeia followed with, "Ow! My Brain!".

Last October, or maybe it was November, I bought a half case of the stuff; 72 bottles. Why so much? Obviously because I'm cheap. The stuff is expensive, so I bought in bulk to reduce the price by 30%. Also, it has lasted me more than half a year, so it was well worth the investment. Being down to four bottles it seemed that I had to decide if I wanted to reinvest.

I cannot deny that this stuff works for me, most of the time anyway. It took a little bit of learning to find when it was most effective so I could utilize it only at those times, but I definitely like the effects. Also, I tend to only get 2-3 hours of quality time rather than a full 5 hours, but then I am usually maxing out my vast brainpan which is twice that of normal puny human so it makes sense that it only lasts half as long.

I like the fact that 5 hour energy is made up mostly with vitamins and minerals rather than sugar and other crap. I won't go crazy and call this healthy for you because, at the very least it has caffeine, but I don't think it is terribly unhealthy when you consider America's typical liquid repast, coffee. I also like to try new things, so when I went online to order a new helping of brain enhancing energy elixir, I decided to try something different. In short, I wanted to find something with similar effects without the caffeine. I would then deem such a product to be healthy. Despite my penchant for eating crap, I will often make the right choice when it presents itself.

After a little researching and a timely recommendation from a Leo Laporte podcast, This Week in Tech, I settled on a product called BrainToniq. By all means check the link. It is not readily available everywhere just yet, so I ordered 24 cans online. Bigger discounts can be had with larger orders, but I wanted to try it before I go crazy.

After I test it out, I will let everyone know if it is a worthy replacement to 5 hour energy or if it has as much value as ylang ylang.

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